How it all began

I’ve kept a diary on and off for years, a lot more off than on truth be told as I’ve gotten older. Funny that, the more real and interesting life has become the less I write about it. However dilemmas over whether Colin fancies me or which member of Take that I fancied* could take up pages and pages.

Plus, I’ve realised that as I get older I only tend to write about the bad stuff, and frankly that is crap. Who wants a written record of all the shittest points in my life? Good god, if I wasn’t depressed before I started reading them I bloody would be at the end. And more importantly, my life is really not that bad. I’ve got the same daily worries as everyone else- career, weight, friends love etc and very few other problems that are in smaller minority group.

Plus, I went for a long time being unhappy – moving swiftly from a happy giggly child to a quite, shy, angry kid wrapped in a shell so thick and so hard even I couldn’t see a way out. Thinds change, we grow up, we learn about some real pain and heartache and we come through it.

For the past two years, give or take a month or two, I’ve been more happy than I can remember in a while, even with the daily shit of ‘what the hell am I going to do with my life, my job is shit and I am never going to find love after my last twat of a boyfriend dumped me out the blue after four years.’ Ahem, I’m over it really, I swear, in fact I was over in about three days which made me realise that is was a dead duck long before either of us wanted to say, I’m jut naturally not a quitter, so hated to lose.

Anyway, my point was that I want a record of the good and the happy, the banal and the momentous. The little things that turn our moods on a knife edge. So this is a record for me, and anyone else who might stumble across it one day. And folks, I’m starting off on a high, the radio is on, the sun is out and dusk is falling, life is good.

*For the record, I never had these dilemmas but I can’t remember what nonsensical twaddle I would write about when I was 14 years old that would take up pages and pages.